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Green is my favorite color.

There are so many shades of it; but still,
I know all my greens quite well.

Light shines in through the window;
the leaves - and I - shiver at autumn's chill.
Green is my favorite color.

Hunter, forest, artichoke,
spinach, kale, dandelion, even dill -
See? I know my greens quite well.

Now, as an English major:
it symbolizes life, and nature's will.
Ah, green, my favorite color.

It's the hue of envy's glow,
in my heart where greed and jealousy mill...
You see, I know my greens quite well.

You add a splash of yellow
and a splash of blue - the palette is filled.
Green is my favorite color,
trust me, I know my greens quite well.
her voice is soft but she might as well have sucker-punched me in the gut.
“I’ve started smoking again.”
and I say nothing because i know she’s thought it through, listed all the health hazards and costs of upkeep, decided ‘what the hell’ and went ahead...
but i’m thinking
how could you
how could you do this to your body
how could you do this to your body that i love so much
killing yourself slowly
ash fragment by ash fragment
until you are breathing in more tar and smoke than air
wreathed in the acrid stench of corruption
a shadow of the girl I adore

she looks at me, eyes sweeping up and over
the concave curve of my inner thighs
two newly jutting hipbones
the sharp ledges below my neck
and she says nothing because she knows the siren cry of old habits dying hard, the whispers of ‘I can stop anytime I want,’ the subconscious denial of willful self-negligence...
and she thinks
enough
you are enough
you are enough and complete and beautiful to me
stop denying yourself
the fullness of life, all the good that our world has to offer
no more empty satisfaction and hollow contentment
promise me that you will fall in love again
with the star-glimmering girl I adore
                                i am six and i like a boy named Cameron.
                            he likes nature and wildlife and is going to be
                               a zookeeper, so i will be a zookeeper too.

                                                   ***

                                i am eight and i like a boy named Henry.
                              he plays soccer and hockey and brings in his
                             trophies for show & tell. he has dark eyes and
                            brown-silvery hair, and at the end of third grade,
                                        he moves away to New York.

                                                   ***

                             i am ten and i like the boy named Cameron again.
                          he still likes nature and wildlife, but now he’s going
                      to be a conservationist. i want to be an Olympic figure skater.
                                     i don't think we are meant to be.

                                                   ***

                                i am twelve and i like a boy named Andrew.
                                  he’s older and smarter and cuter than
                                            all the other boys


                                               and crueler.

                                                   ***

                         i am fourteen, and i like no one, least of all myself.

                                                   ***

                              i am sixteen, and i tell myself that i like
                             the self-imposed restrictions, the comforting,
                               predictable routine of eating and purging.
                                   it’s okay. everything will be okay.

                                              (no, it won’t)

                                                   ***

                                             i am eighteen.
                                               i am free.
                                    i will learn to love myself again.

                                                   ***

                             i am twenty and i like a girl who smells of shampoo
                     and leather. she likes cats and trains and grapefruit - and me (?!)
                            my heart should feel like champagne - but it doesn’t,
                           because judgment, like molten gold, drips from my mind,
                                            heavy and resolute.

                                                  i can’t.

                                                  i can’t.

                                                  i can’t.



                                                  i don’t.

                                                   ***

                                          i am twenty and foolish
                                           twenty and still young

                                               only twenty

                             but my heart thrums with an all-too-familiar ache

                                       an ache for which, once again,
                                           i wish a swift passing
                                         and hope will never return.
friday morning musings in a blue cubicle
confessions of an admitted drama queen
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deviantID

Shinigamis-R-Us
needs a real ID...♥
Artist
United States
:iconkissingplz: I adore you, and that is all.

Current Residence: US of A
Favourite genre of music: Classical music♥, alternative, J-, K-, C- pop (@_@;;; Does that make any sense?...)
Favourite cartoon character: Lissuria ♥ Potamayo♥ Tsukushi♥ Totoro
Personal Quote: 'Live like a duck: calm on the surface but paddling like the dickens underneath.'
Interests
Wow, it's been a year since my last journal post. I'm sorry for my inactivity - between college applications, scholarship applications, and other Senior year things, I haven't had time to write anything worthy of being posted, only bits and pieces here and there. College starts in a week, and I have a packed schedule for the first semester, but I'll do my best to revive this account. Hugs to all of you who've stuck around, and thank you for your patience! :hug:
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Ordinary by Baek Ji Young
  • Reading: Revolution 2.0 by Wael Ghonim
  • Watching: To the Beautiful You

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:iconqchiapetp:
qchiapetp Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave! Cool webcam .gif!
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:iconnitefise:
nitefise Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch: :D
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:iconalloendreams:
AlloenDreams Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012
Happy birthday dear, I hope you have a lovely one. :heart:
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:iconshinigamis-r-us:
Shinigamis-R-Us Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012
Thank you very much! :hug:
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:iconraizshock:
RaizShock Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012
Happy Birfday?
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
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:iconshinigamis-r-us:
Shinigamis-R-Us Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2012
Thank you! :la:
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:iconpai-thagoras:
pai-thagoras Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012   General Artist
Thank you for the :+fav:! :iconhappehdanceplz:
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:iconjenysa971:
jenysa971 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fav ^^
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:icontheblackestjack:
TheBlackestJack Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Student General Artist
Thanks so much for the llama trade:iconhappytearsplz:!! It means so much to me:iconmonkeyloveplz:!! I would really appreciate any feedback you could give me on my artwork and don't forget to watch if like my stuff:squee:!!

Your Loving Artist,
Alice:icononionbyeplz:
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:iconjloucherrystar:
JlouCherryStar Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
Thank you so very much for the :iconninjallamaplz: =D :glomp:!!!
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